she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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