Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
