And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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