so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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