some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
