I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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