We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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