My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
