i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
