Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Michael Bay diarrhea
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
