i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
