My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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