Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
