She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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