Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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