Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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