I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry about my life...
Enjoy the penises
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
