It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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