I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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