i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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