I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
