why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
