I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
