I just cut my nipple shaving
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
