Sry I called you an 8
Please, let me fuck your mom
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
