youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
