Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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