it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
