Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
