the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
