I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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