Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
