Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
