You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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