we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i out mim tonsoeep
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
