I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
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