For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
