so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
