Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
two words: eviction party
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
