I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
