he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
