You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
