Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
