I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
