I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
