I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
