Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
