She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
