Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
