i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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