I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
