How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
