Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
